Yah Nee

'Cliche' Poem

2009-04-29T00:59:00.002+08:00

Why is it that I don't close my eyes,
to sleep in the quiet of the night?
Every other night I wish for the sunrise,
waiting for that every morning light.

Why is it that when it does come,
that I have no energy to stay strong?
Life shouldn't be this way,
I shouldn't be depressed this long.

I can feel it in my body,
when I try to work through the day.
How I yearn for that freedom,
Just to be able to work and play

Life truly seems like an awfully long journey,
that I chose to ignore at this moment,
But I do fear for the day,
When I do regret to those whom I had forsaken

Why is it that I can't learn to see,
What lies right in front of my sight?
To let go of that heavy burden upon my shoulder,
And to enjoy my life fill with joy and pride.

Random thoughts

2009-04-28T00:50:00.002+08:00

I am not a professional writer nor am I a good story-teller but then I am just trying to convey what I am experiencing. So, apparently, I have to admit that I do have an eating disorder (which I did since last december). Although I dare to say that the worst is over but there is probably 20% or less left that I still need to fight against ED but it is a hellavu battle without prior predictions of who might win in the end...

Its just thaT I am not sure about the feeling of being full. Its like my head and stomach had not connected yet. I know when I am feeling hungry. I really didn't meant to be complacent and lazy, I understand it is within my character.. I do get the whole concept of it but then to be able to physically and mentally prepared for it is very hard. I am not saying anyone is pressurizing me...except myself.
Me trying to be a people-pleaser all the time. Trying to be 'ok' all the time when in actual fact I am just pretending for others and for myself. I need to not just please others but also to ED. Just because I know that if there isn't anyone else to depend on, ED will always be there.

Miss Boon told me that if I were to keep this relationship with ED, I can't be with anyone else. Its like a third party and ED will always be there until I learn to let him go. I know he doesn't love me and I know he wants me to die painfully and alone. But he seems to always serve as an 'excuse' or 'safety net' that I can fall onto if i can't take the responsibility or the blame. Its always easier to blame others than urself. And in this case, I find it easier to blame it all on ED. This part of me that I can't seem to shake off at the moment. I know it is one thing to know what to do and another to actually doing it..

2009-04-21T23:48:00.003+08:00

Some say Love, It is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say Love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say Love, it is a hunger
an endless aching need.

I say Love, it is a flower
and you, its only seed.
Its the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
Its the dream afraid of waking
that never takes a chance

Its the one who won't be taken
who can not seem to care
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
& the road has been too long
& you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter,
far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that where the sun lights
In the spring, becomes the rose

Anti-ED group~

2009-04-18T17:38:00.001+08:00

As I stare at my plate that consisted of my favourite: roast duck rice; I couldn’t bring myself to even think of eating it. That was when my Eating Disorder (E.D.) was the strongest. E.D. was the monster that I’ve been feeding out of fear that gotten stronger and stronger everyday; or an abusive boyfriend that I just couldn’t leave at that time. That was when I was at my worst: I was in denial that I had any problem, let alone an eating disorder. I used to think at that time that as long as I control my eating and as long as I exercise until I consumed negative or minimum calories for a day, I will be fine.

At that time, I didn’t think that I had a problem.. I just think I looked fat no matter how well I try to control my calories intake. And E.D. at that time did not manifest itself as a separate voice…in actual fact, that time it sounded just like my own voice. I never thought that I heard a separate different voice in my head to purge after a normal meal with an unavoidable meal, to skip meals or even to lie to others about my daily diets.

After few weeks of hospitalization in the Singapore General Hospital, Ward 46A, I slowly and painfully learned the normality of just eating three meals a day. I learned that I am not alone in this war. The battle is still raging now and then again with wars going on. But then things were put into perspective by a team of multidisciplinary members. Dr Lee, my psychiatrist that ensured that I will be comfortable but remained stern with me at the same time. Nurses that care and made sure we don’t fall back and provide entertainment for us, in-patients, to bring us normality and joy in our life within the ward. Our dearest Nana, who always took care of things that we wanted and lending us a hearing ear whenever we need. Occupational therapist, psychologist, dietician, physiotherapist, etc that were essential within a multi-disciplinary team in order to fight against all sort of E.D.

My E.D. was a selfish bastard that insisted that I listen to him but never praise or say that I have done well. There was always a downside to E.D. He used to torture me about even eating a piece of fruit. I know that I can’t make everyone comprehend what this stupid feeling that I am experiencing. However, I urge that everyone would keep a look out for someone you suspect to be suffering such abuse from an eating disorder. Sometimes, we all need a push now and again to kick-start a lot of things. I am lucky enough to have a strong family support as well as friends to push me along the right track. Sometimes, I feel so bad for bailing out on my friends, my supervisor, my housemate and many others I think.

Please pledge to start this programme in Brunei. Just like in Singapore General Hospital, their life centre catered not only for Ed patients but for obesity cases as well. I remembered once, that my brother told me that Aneroxia Nervosa is like the cancer of the soul…..It sucked out all the emotions from me and I could not emphatise with anything, not even the love of my family. There are many hidden issues associated with body image and confidence of our adolescence nowadays. It is difficult with the constant exposure of media regarding the glamorous life of the thin-stick-celebrity as well as the damnation of even looking ‘healthy’ or ‘normal’.

I know that life is precious and perhaps I am still not leading a completely ED-free life as well as not being able to throw that edge of the security blanket that I was used to so much.

Depression Vs The pursuit of happiness..Over rated?

2009-04-17T22:18:00.002+08:00

You can't help but notice the increasing number of 'Be Happy' or 'Being happy for Dummies' etc books popping out for the last couple of years. It seems that every now and again, people are getting stressed and yes...depressed. Someone asked me how would you actually know if someone can be clinically diagnosed as depressed. Well, I am definitely in no position to answer that. To me, depression was like a constant dark cloud hovering around. Even when occasionally i see the glimpse of happiness and hope, I forgo all that just cause I 'think' more about the that ever hovering dark cloud. I was even confused as to why I can't feel happy about things that I should be. Like doing well at work, doing some baking...the happiness seems so short-lived. That was how I felt. My doctor told me it is because of 'chemical-imbalance' in my head which apparently i should know something about. Anyway, as pessimistic as I want to portray myself as, I think I like the happy side and childish side of me.
Somehow, when I read those books that tells me the steps to being happier..all of them do conclude to the same: Do always look at the bright side.. I keep having to remind myself that. So that perhaps one day at a time, the sky will become clearer and brighter for me.

Time to be happy again?

2009-04-14T23:01:00.002+08:00

Is it the time for me to be happy and simple like before again?
I feel blessed to be surrounded by loved ones; family, friends and special ones.
This journey seems long but it seems that the worse is over already.
I do not wish to go back to before..when it was like hell...
Thanks to all that had faith in me..
Thanks to anyone who didn;t care about just my E.D.
Thanks to those who don't bullshit with me(you know who u are)
Thanks to the team that is always there regardlessly
Thanks to myself for being strong... and honest...

Its about time that I learn to appreciate life. To lead the simple life I wish for.

Positive thinking...

Singapore Changi Airport T2

2009-02-05T19:50:00.003+08:00

Been here for so many times.. once every 2 weeks. When will it end? I know it depends on me.. Perhaps soon.

For the love of ....Cheesecake

2008-09-07T00:37:00.003+08:00

Trawling through the endless recipes for cheesecake, I was intrigued by the 'Famous Junior's Cheesecake' from a cafe in New York. Its heavy duty cheesecake and i won't scare you with the amount of cream cheese in this delectable and (definitely- not crumbly at the poke of a fork!)and creamy cake. Notice the professional photo taken not by me.. thanks to the photographer.. haha..

Mamma Mia!!

2008-08-04T04:09:00.005+08:00

I have to say that after watching Mamma Mia.. that the idea of Pierce Brosnan as 007.. completely gone! It was a fun and relaxing movie with plenty of ABBA songs to sing along to. But whenever Pierce Brosnan sang.. we laughed out loud. Its indeed very entertaining. So to relax yourself, go watch Mamma Mia!!

Masakan Brunei

2008-07-30T18:41:00.004+08:00

Went to a tutor's place last Sunday for lunch and we had to do potluck and bring dishes from your own country.. ohh ohh.. Didn't know what I can cook haha... so went out to get something to solve my problem. Ready made Rendang sauce and Ayam Masak Merah sauce, they turned out to be quite a hit.. hehe so I was quite happy and also paiseh at the same time.. didn't made it out from scratch..

Froggy Chocolate!

2008-07-29T05:13:00.004+08:00

Does anyone remember him? The other green frog, not Kermit the frog but freddo. I saw it at the University refrectory and it seems that LOONG time ago, we used to eat it.. Hehe anyone to confirm?

Physiology Meeting at Cambridge

2008-07-22T18:42:00.003+08:00

Went to Cambridge last week for the first time ever to attend a Physiology Meeting. Was excited to see my name on a poster! haha, Cambridge is 'cute' with the building being sorta smaller compared to those in London. There were lots of cyclists around!!

Coffee first timer

2008-07-09T15:45:00.002+08:00

Its a stressful week with deadlines and a presentation coming up. I had a couple of hours sleep as I feel nervous about this bloody presentation this thursday. So I feel REALLY sleepy waking up at 4.30 a.m. and coming into the lab before 8. I gave into (yes!, wen) the so-called 'evil' drink-COFFEE. I added hot water into the coffee i bought and just had two sips. My head is already spinning a bit. Oooohh-ohhh.. Now to get back to work.. So this post might be because of a caffeine hangover I am having at this moment (or I am imaginating all this)..

Chocolate Chip Cookies

2008-07-07T02:41:00.003+08:00

Thinking about Chocolate Chip Cookies, I was wondering whose recipe to choose from with SOO many different of them online. In the end, I turn to Nigella Lawson (whose video clip can be seen on Youtube). They turned out looking really Huge and nice.

Homemade White Milk Loaf

2008-06-27T16:33:00.008+08:00

After the disaster with the brioche that I had to throw away as I didn't knead it properly, I attempted another recipe called the Hokkaido Milky Loaf. This time I knead til my arms 'Bo Lat' already. It turn out not too bad although I have to admit, I need to go to the gym to increase my arm strength! I added raisin into one of the loaf- Raisin bread. Breakfast for the next day!!!

Brioche Baking in the middle of the night

2008-06-17T07:38:00.004+08:00

I think I am going over the top with the heat of baking at the moment...Kneaded the dough for brioche yesterday (Sunday) and had to chill the dough overnight. Went to lab the whole day and was thinking that this brioche will probably turn out really bad. Had to wait for two hours for it to rise.. ZZzzzz and baked plus cooling for about one and half hours, Voila!! They look ...rustic.. cause i didn't bother to shape them properly. hehe
Don't know how it will taste like though. Might not be that good as I feel that I didn't knead the dough enough. Will see in the a.m. Need my bed now...Zzzzz

Matcha cookies

2008-06-16T03:18:00.001+08:00

After the exams, I have been thinking about baking. During my degree years, I used to do some baking as well. So I went out getting the equipment and baking 'stuff' and decided to make something simple for a start: MATCHA (green tea powder) cookies. It was easy to make (although I didn't had caster sugar and used granulated instead :P). I was literally standing infront of the oven and staring at the cookies as they were baking.. haha.. They turn out nice (to me anyway) and tomorrow will bring over to some 'tasters' or 'guinea pigs' to get some comments.

National Doughnut Day!

2008-06-06T17:05:00.005+08:00

Apparently today is the National Doughnut Day, as if we need more excuse to indulge in doughnuts, especially Krispy Kreme. For me, my favourite so far is the Chocolate Cake Glazed. I have heard about the Doughnuts back at home and I have to say I have not tried any of it. So enjoy a doughnut or two today and just try to think that the calories will mysteriously go away cos its 'NATIONAL DOUGHNUT DAY'.. :P

Ice Bar

2008-06-06T04:36:00.004+08:00

Yes, I went to the Absolut Ice Bar in London, although in reality I never knew such bar exist up until my cousin from Singapore came over and told me about it. After a hearty meal (thanks to my cuz for paying :P hehe) at Mandarin Kitchen over at Queensway, we decided to go to the Ice Bar paying GBP 15 each to get in with a complimentary drink, w Absolut Vodka (of course) in an ice glass. Not the best, with the bartender busy slushing drinks into our teeny ice glass shots. The place was cold (duhh) and perhaps I was anticipating something really grand, it was bit smaller than I expected. But then its hard to constantly maintain a place at -5 degrees. The entrance was for 40 mins and in the beginning I was wondering "wa, 15 pounds for 40 minutes only?". But then I think we lasted for about 20 minutes in there even with their coats on as you can see from the picture. Without the hood on, I think we all look like we work in some frozen food product factory. So I left the hood on for pictures..hehe

Cocktail Bun

2008-06-03T18:33:00.004+08:00

These few days, my breakfast will be from that Chinese bakery cause we just bought a big box full of buns!! Hehe, this one is cocktail bun and once again, it does not contain any cocktail fruits or whatsoever in it. The filling is like the Buttermilk Bun we get in Brunei.

This bun makes me think of the buttermilk bun at Jingchew, I miss going there for afternoon tea!!!!

Polo Bao

2008-06-03T01:58:00.003+08:00

What I eat for breakfast this morning, a hot POLO BAO... it was delicious. I recommend to those coming over to London to visit this small bakery at Chinatown called Golden Gate Bakery. They have the best (well, me and lun think so) buns! Will recommend further their other buns in future post.
Polo bao or pineapple bun in its name is misleading, as they do not contain any pineapple but instead just look like one and thus its name. Polo-yau as normally eaten in HK diner, with a chunk of cold butter wedge in between a hot polo bao...waa..fatty but delicious.. who would resist...
Talking about polo bao reminds me of a cartoon character

McDull 菠蘿油王子.. yup a cute HK pig character with a polo bao on his head.. so cute.hehe

My belated birthday

2008-05-19T02:16:00.005+08:00

Finally after exams that I can get to celebrate my belated birthday.. Thanks to Lun who bought me a 'Sap Sam Yiu' Mahjong birthday cake!! SO CUTE!!! It's from our favourite bakery in chinatown.. They make the best buns and we are their regular customers (they recognize us already...hehe). Went to a 4 hour karaoke session.

Re-posted and replaced the 'glowing' cake after editing, courtesy of Gab

Temptation of FREE ice cream

2008-04-30T18:36:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I saw the ad on the newspaper a day earlier and can't be happier that they are giving out free cones from 1-5pm on selected outlets all over UK. Of course the nearest one to me is in Leicester Square and although I was supposed to be at home STUDYING. I went out with me housemate and get us a free cone. I got the Cherry Garcia (my Fav) and lun got Chunky Monkey. the queue wasn't that long and it was no time before we got ours. Anyway, free ice cream definitely made my day although it was back to gloomy old UK weather again.

Race for Life

2008-04-22T04:08:00.004+08:00

Heylo to anyone who reads my blog. Just a short post that I am running for cancer research UK, Race for Life on the 19th of July. Anyone interested in sponsoring me? Please click on the title to link to my website and sponsor away. Thanks in advance.

Exams soon

2008-04-18T00:53:00.005+08:00

Before I probably not post for another couple more weeks, I watched a TV show called 'Pushing Daisies'. Its about this pie-maker called Ned who have the power to bring dead people back to life with a touch but only for a minute. Any longer than that, another person will have to die in their place. With the second touch, Ned 'permanently' killed the person the second time. So the story goes that he saw his long-lost childhood sweetheart(Chuck) who was murdered, lying in a coffin and brought her back to life. As the minute almost come to an end, he realise he couldn't do it. So Chuck is alive but they cannot touch EVER. except through cling film and stuff like that. Anyhoo, I think its quite a quirky show and i recommend to others..

Banyak Makan!!

2008-04-07T05:41:00.006+08:00

I am doing VERY well in UK.. haha.. well that was all before now.. The last month before exams....

Snowing in April?!

2008-04-06T16:46:00.004+08:00

That's right. I woke up this morning to see snow! I just wore short sleeves the other day cause it was about 17 degrees. What the....

Another new break!

2008-03-28T00:38:00.003+08:00

There is another new flavour of Kit Kat, called Kit Kat senses. Tasted it, still love the original one.

Have a break!

2008-03-27T04:16:00.003+08:00

Most people would agree with me that the Kit Kat in UK taste much better than what we get back at home i.e. from Malaysia. I knew that they do Chunky Kit Kat and other flavours like Mint, Lime, Dark Chocolate and some others special ones like Bloody Orange for Halloween.

Recently I saw on the shelves (which prob is not so new) but its the first time I saw they do Kit Kat Chunky Peanut. I have not tasted it yet but seems there is an additional layer of peanut butter on top of the wafer.

New Gadget for me!

2008-03-19T19:59:00.003+08:00

I got myself a new gadget, its the Fujifilm Pivi MP300 Printer!!! Okay, although it is not state of the art, OMG, new breakthrough one but i like it!! Its so cute cause I always like polaroid pictures. So now I can use my mobile camera or digital camera to take pictures and I can pick the best ones to print. It connects through infrared and also USB port for the digital camera. It takes about 30 secs for me to transfer a pic from my mobile and including printing probably takes around less than 2 mins. The printer is light and slim, so easy to carry around. HAHA, so now u can take a pic, print immediately and write down the all important phone number to the cute girl or guy you have your eye on.
P.S: Anyone else going Japan again, inform me!!

Old Songs

2008-03-17T02:22:00.001+08:00

Just Once
James Ingram

I did my best
But I guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to being strangers
Wondering if we oughta stay
Or head on out the door

Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why we never last for very long
What are we doing wrong
Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
'Cause Lord knows we're not getting anywhere
Seems we're always blowing whatever we got going
And seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer
Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why the goodtimes never last for very long
Seems we're always blowing
Whatever we got going

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

Just once I want to understand
Why it always come back to good-bye
Why can't we get ourselves in hand
And admit to one another
That we're no good with out the other
Take the best and make it better
Find a way to stay together

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
I know we can break through it
If we could just get to it

Just once
If we could get to it

Just Once...

2008 Brunei Night in London

2008-03-13T06:20:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday, there was a Brunei Night that we heard from someone. Upon hearing that it was just 8 pounds and that there were promises of NASI LEMAK, we decided to go. It was held at Imperial College and organized by Bruneian Society of IC. It was actually a play and the title as seen from the picture is called "The Curse of the Pulut Panggang!"...

We didn't had dinner and went to the play which got delayed for about an hour. So in the end, our stomach couldn't stand it. We had to leave earlier to have our extremely late dinner, not being able to finish the whole show.

P.S. We didn't won anything for the lucky draw.. :P

Diner

2008-03-05T20:04:00.004+08:00

To those who actually watch 'Scrubs', this is one of my favourite "flashbacks" of J.D. because I think the song at the background is super catchy. By the way it is 'Diner' by Martin Sexton. Love the show!

New Blogger

2008-02-19T05:06:00.002+08:00

Hello anyone who visit my site, you guys might(or might not) notice that there is a new blogger that I linked at my 'kawan's blogs'. Gabriel started a blog and he is showing his pictures that he has taken so far. So do visit his blog. Thanks.

Early Spring In London

2008-02-11T01:01:00.001+08:00

Those who are not around here in this part of the world, its getting warmer and closer to spring early this year. After a wet and cold summer last year, this year winter wasn't that cold as I remember winter to be. Its just early feb and the sun's shining, the flowers are popping out and there are people in their t-shirts already... well some of them.
Look at the sun shining!!! It was such a good weather so we went Haagen Daz icecream and was surprised by the new menu. There was a fondue set!! It was just for fancy. But nevertheless, its chinese new year so we have to enjoy ourselves... haha as if we need excuse to eat somemore... hehe. Forgot to wish people "Happy Chinese New Year!!"

Old Songs

2008-01-26T07:39:00.000+08:00

Right Here Waiting For You - Richard Marx

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' CrAzY

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' cRaZy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Cirque Du Soleil

2008-01-20T07:57:00.000+08:00

Went to watch "Varekai" at the Royal Albert Hall on Thursday night. Was my first time inside Royal Albert Hall, was really impressed by the place. Huge... The show was really good..the visual and sound effects made a big difference to the circus acts. The story started when a boy fell down from the sky into the magical world called "Varekai".

Exhausted!

2008-01-08T06:34:00.001+08:00

Went to a beginner yoga class tonight from 8 til 9.30. Long time haven't do yoga already so became bit stiff. This is one near our place, bout 3 mins walk. Its called The Iyengar Yoga Studio.
It was alright but then maybe the instructor back in Brunei (the place where i went with my brother)was more helpful to the beginners. But at least this one is a workout for us during the winter months. Stress from study..so go relax.. haha Feel really sleepy now, so hopefully will have a good night sleep. Oh ya, we did the shoulder stand...

Great Voice

2008-01-07T05:22:00.000+08:00

This is a great cover by Jam.. that is his English name but i think call him by his chinese name is better..

Japanese Curry

2008-01-07T03:26:00.000+08:00

Had Japanese curry for dinner tonight..and with addition to to normal potatoes and carrots, we added butternutsquash and sweet potatoes. I love curries..my mom's curry is one of the best!! Japanese curry is easy to cook as being away from home, we won't have time to blend the chillies just like mom does at home. Other than that, one of the best curry chicken rice I had will be the St Georges' canteen one....man..most St George-ians would know!!!! And I knew that Bidarlah n his gang just had some last year..Jealous ku..hehe

Low Calories! Low Fat! No Sugar!

2008-01-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

I am getting sick of all that signs popping out in almost all the food labels..ALAMAK.. cannot just eat something without thinking.. Ohh Ohhh Too much calories.. plus minus today what I eat and what I am allow to eat...Makan Angin, can la.. Hmm.. But now I am missing Jing Chew's Roti Kuning Kahwin and also Zhi Ma Kuey Teow....Thien Thien's Chicken Rice. DHL here, someone? :P And also how to forget Lee Loi Fatt's ABC!!

Wasted For the Year 2008!

2008-01-03T04:13:00.000+08:00

Everytime that I got a hangover from drinking too much, I told myself never to do it anymore. Cause it is just too much for my stomach to handle and i feel dizzy for the whole day. BUT.. for new year's eve, we went clubbing and I was so wasted... I think I drank too much tequila... yup.. i blame the tequila!!! And I actually puked on the streets of London...
So for everyone else who were sober while celebrating the new year!! GOOD FOR YOU!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!

Rindu kereta ku

2007-12-30T08:05:00.000+08:00

First Boxing Day Sale Experience!

2007-12-26T23:01:00.001+08:00

This year I attempted my first boxing day sale at Selfridges. Wa... scary.... aiming at MiuMiu bags this time... The queue was very long...But here's the result of waking up so early during a holiday and squeezing with so many others (Mostly Chinese.. hehe we are shop-holics...)

Prague in December

2007-12-26T22:25:00.000+08:00

Well, I have to say never to go to Prague during winter cause it is really freezing, -5 to -8 degrees. Me and Lun were wearing three pairs of socks and three layers of clothings excluding our coats....Brr.... We did manage to get pictures of snowy prague only on our last day on the way to the airport. And lastly the pictures of our shoes standing over the manhole of prague...which i never did know y we did took this picture..

Sick~~

2007-12-18T02:08:00.000+08:00

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!

2007-12-17T23:42:00.000+08:00

Or to say it backwards "docious-ali-expi-istic-fragi-cali-rupes". Went to watch "Mary Poppins" the other day. It was good fun especially when this song came along... hehe.. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...

Enjoying our food!

2007-12-12T06:50:00.000+08:00

We came across this Japanese restaurant near Leicester Square called 'Abeno Too'. The way they name their branches is similar to that of Taurean and Taurean Two in Brunei.. hehe they have two branches as well, Abeno and Abeno Too...
"Their Specialty- Okonomiyaki"

Their Okonomiyaki tastes like the Tako balls that are sold in Singapore.They cooked on the hot plate on our table. Just to share.. haha, its just cute and taste quite nice..The second one is"Om Soba" which is basically soba covered with egg omelette.

Dessert in Chinatown: I do look bit tooo happy cos shar lun was making me laugh.

To go or not to go?

2007-12-11T19:14:00.000+08:00

A couple days back, Jason called me up from Osaka and we chatted. He asked me to go visit him next year around feb or march.. Should I go? Tempted, I do hv reading week.. heheh.... i shudder when i think about when we get back to brunei after masters, have to start working... no holiday for a whole year!!!

Spotted in the newspapers

2007-12-07T20:48:00.000+08:00

To think that that day i was trying so hard, literally being pushed and squashed by people trying to get a pic with His Majesty which by the way i didn't manage to get to. My mom called me early Tue morning to inform that she spotted me on the newspapers.. haha so I waited to see the news online and there I was standing behind looking at another direction. I think I was trying to get shar lun to help me take a pic.

Yup, HM was very generous and so all of us get to have spending money for boxing day sale, I mean for buying extra study materials.. So after that we went to four seasons at chinatown to have a proper meal with roasted duck of course!

2007-11-20T04:53:00.000+08:00

Okie, after a long long time here, it seems that I have forgotten about my blog. Anyway, I got a new camera cause i left my old one in Brunei.. hehe So when we went to TGI Fridays...we took some pics. Ada Cocktails some more heheheh...

Got a place!

2007-10-10T20:16:00.000+08:00

Well, since i last put up that angry post, we have found a place and had already settled in for about 4 days already.. We are at a place called East Finchley and have two bedrooms and one bathroom. Will post the pictures up once we got our internet connected. :)

HOMELESS in LONDON!!

2007-09-30T07:55:00.000+08:00

I am currently bit high... with Shar Lun by my side (who is also high by the way). We are still homeless.. Latest update is that the stupid previous tenant decided that he did not want to move anymore!!!!! What the %^£$, so we have to try to get back all our bloody money and also try to look for another place..... so sad... ok lar. have to stop cos bit blur.. hehe

Riddles

2007-08-30T15:46:00.001+08:00

For all those who loves riddles out there, I had just been introduced to this website that will surely make you wanna pull your hair out. Anyway, just bit too dramatic but this site is very addictive and you tend to want to try and solve those riddles. So anyone interested here's the web address: http://www.weffriddles.com. There are websites that you can go to for hints and tips... maybe next time.

We are going!!!!!!

2007-08-26T00:10:00.000+08:00

We finally 'found out' that we got the go-ahead for the Masters long ago, so me and chee are leaving for the UK. So, LONDON, Here I come again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many First-TimeS!!!!

2007-08-25T23:48:00.000+08:00

To be honest, I think I have come to be comfortable with my job at UBD and met some very nice people along the way. Eventhough I may have certain things that I do not agree with the management of the insitute.. but ANYWAY......
I have done things that I never think I would have been able to do. Like the OBBD trip to temburong (as mentioned in the previous post). It was the first time I went on the flying fox and it was raining heavily... and it was the first time I camped... first time I kayaked.
What else ah....I actually went to the OGDC(Oil and Gas Discovery Centre) at Seria last week and first time slept on the bed of nails.

Then last tuesday we held a farewell dinner for the Japanese students and I was an MC for the first time!!! Can't say it was great but then I would like to think that it went fine.... hehe I wore a Yukata, a summer wear for the Japanese girls. It's less formal, less layers and less complicated to wear than Kimono.

It was really a fun night.

OBBD trip

2007-08-08T20:17:00.000+08:00

I have not been posting anything recently as.... well been busy.... at work... I went to temburong for the first time in my life. And it was for the Outward Bound school. Went with one other colleague and 16 other students.... It is not a holiday resort if anyone is interested. First day was fine in a sense, still in touch with civilisation. Still got shower, still got flushing toilet, lights.. Second day, at ten a.m. is the beginning of a 7 hour jungle trek (with a giant, heavy backpack) to our destination: Camp Semut which literally meant that there are tons of ants crawling around.
It doesn't help that we are carrying about probably 10 to 15 kg on our back and trekking through mud and it had to rain!! Which jus turns the whole jungle into a sauna, as we could feel our sweat pouring down after the rain. When we finally reach the camp, we had to set up the tents and it rain again!!! And it was dark, so we decided not to wander to the river to take our shower... so ya... i did not shower for the whole day after soaking in my own sweat for the whole day... ewwww.....

But the next morning, we did sorta... took a dip just to refresh ourselves and its kayaking time!!! Which was difficult by the way. Looks easy but then... i think i ached more kayaking than trekking. ok then next post will be fine details.. :)

Nice song

2007-07-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

如果我能看得见
就能轻易的分辨白天黑夜
就能准确的在人群中
牵住你的手
如果我能看得见
就能驾车带你到处遨游
就能惊喜的从背后
给你一个拥抱
如果我能看得见
生命也许完全不同
可能我想要的我喜欢的我爱的
都不一样

眼前的黑不是黑
你说的白是什么白
人们说的天空蓝
是我记忆中那团白云背后的蓝天
我望向你的脸
却只能看见一片虚无
是不是上帝在我眼前遮住了帘
忘了掀开

你是我的眼
带我领略四季的变换
你是我的眼
带我穿越拥挤的人潮
你是我的眼
带我阅读浩瀚的书海
因为你是我的眼
让我看见这世界
就在我眼前

Sang by a Taiwanese in a singing competition, well he won. But this song is really nice. Original singer is not that er.... well-known. hehe

New Puppy!!

2007-07-01T20:39:00.001+08:00

See this cutie pie!!! Its our new puppy. He's tiny so I am not scared of him.. heheh. Apparently, he has been given a name already called Johnny, though we are thinking of changing it. He has blue eyes!! So caucasian lar. haha.. Need to get something for him to bite on..He's chewing on everything.

Cola n Sprite

2007-06-30T14:54:00.000+08:00

Don't you love bottled soft drinks? I stumbled upon this in Miri, not here. But if you see closer, there are some thai wordings on them... :P Anyhow, I still like to see these bottled soft drinks. Dunno the taste difference because I don't want to open them up.hehe

Just A Random Thought, Please Vote..

2007-06-12T11:07:00.000+08:00

Take the poll

Free Poll by Blog Flux

Can a guy and a gal just be best friends? What do you all think? Please vote and give comments... thanks.

Kampung Ayer Trip..

2007-06-04T15:11:00.000+08:00

Went to the Water village yesterday with the staff of I.M. with other professor-professor sama doktor-doktor from partner medical schools. Woke up at 7 to see the skies gray and rain pouring down again!.. Anyway, we went there from centrepoint to the jetty using a tour bus, I feel like a tourist again. hehe Anyway, provided with oversized yellow raincoats, which are life savers cause I don't want the water to be splashing my face and hair..... :)
After searching around, we did see the probocis monkey with the orange hair and their oversized nose.. hehe although not so near. It was good enough... before we went to makan makan at a local house at the Kg Ayer. The trip actually extended to the Berakas Forest reserve to see the pitcher plants, but have to leave halfway because I step into quick sand and my pants got half submerged but luckily my converse shoes did not get stuck into the wet sand. I cabut and then spend the whole day being groggy and super tired... Enjoy the pictures of the monkey...courtesy of my colleague at I.M.

Paintball...in the rain!!

2007-06-01T21:05:00.000+08:00

I tried paint ball today, and it was fun... well except for the rain. Which just make things difficult because our mask keep fogging up and I can't see where I am shooting. The place is actually someone's house at Manggis I and we are literally playing at someone's back garden. It is just a simple set up with bunkers which are basically inflatable things that you can hide behind. You divide yourself into two teams and when the marshalls(those people wearing orange T-shirts) shout "Game!" then we start playing. Once you are hit, you are considered 'dead' and have to pull your self out of the game. The game will be over when all the members of a particular team get shot at. We are provided with a vest, a mask and a paintball gun or a marker each. The mask as modelled by Shar Lun in the picture shown above. As it was raining, me n shar lun both wore our ten-year old MSPSBS PE pants. It look horrendous by the way but i dun wanna get my proper sport pants dirty. Its good fun and it is worth playing another time when its not raining. We were all drenched from head to toe and i got hit three shots, blue black for a week!!

Love Hurts..

2007-05-28T08:14:00.000+08:00

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds
And mars, any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts......ooh,ooh love hurts

I'm young, I know, but even so
I know a thing or two
And I learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it's hot
Love hurts......ooh,ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They're not foolin' me

I know it isn't true, I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts......ooh,ooh love hurts
ooh,ooh love hurts

Ambuyat First Timer

2007-05-19T21:07:00.000+08:00

OK, I know that I am a Bruneian but after 24 years, I finally eaten my first Ambuyat. Went with my colleagues from I.M. who 'encourage' me to go...hehe. It was a big pot of.... (like they describe) glue. But I have to admit the condiment sauce is really nice. I can't say that ambuyat has an acquired taste, i would say that ambuyat has an acquired 'feel' to it when you swallow. Though they say to swallow, no need to chew, but I am so tempted to chew on it. Definitely will go for the second time. So I hope no one would say that I am not a pure Bruneian. HA HA, as if this would make me look any more like a Bruneian. I feel and look like a tourist with my colleagues around me at the restaurant. Anyone wanna follow for my second trip?
Thanks to Fendi for taking my picture at the office n also thanks to chee n haiza who bought the cake for me...
Oh ya! I played bowling on Friday and got my highest score ever, 136!! The students nicknamed the way i throw 'matrix' cause its so sloooow... haha but killerball.. :)

Sad n Skint at the Moment!

2007-05-14T14:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it just feel that you don't want to wake up and just feel like sleeping the whole day away. Well today is one of those days, really feel like just staying in bed. But as usual have to go to work...
When you feel that you are down from the morning, things probably just go downhill from there. By the way, I am not depressed, just bit..whiny..things can't always go the way we want. That is how life is.
My salary is not out yet for last month so I am a bit skint right now. Have to think properly what to spend on... Boo Hoo..

Driving Range

2007-05-10T09:35:00.000+08:00

My tattoo is scabbing and feels weird to touch... its normal by the way. Well, the first two days when I got the tattoo. It did not sink in until.. the 3rd day when I woke up in the middle of the night. And .... I realise I must be really high on something or crazy to get this tattoo. But no regrets..
Hari ini went out from 10 30 am til habis lunch at around 1.20 pm baru balik office with lychee. But we have good reasons.. that is to send chee's letters. hehe, no good reason for me. Sorry KCS, always can't talk to you when you call. We will be even more free after 19th May because exams will be finished by then.
Finally after AGES, i went to driving range tonight. It was crappy at first, but i manage to hit the balls... tho not far or consistent. hehe... that is why I am sleepy now....

Singapore..

2007-05-08T20:18:00.000+08:00

Hello Hello,
Just got back from Singapore and I know my blog was weird, but no worries. I have got it back to normal already but it might change again cause I am trying to change the template.. hehe I miss the Xiao Long Bao and I have been eating and eating so much since I reached there. hehe the ice cream are Japanese icecream from 2 different shops. The pink ones are actually Sakura flavoured. It quite Yummy... Yuppie, gain bit of pound but still alrighty....
One thing I went bit crazy and got a

My.... it was a 'painful' experience... once i chose the design they put on a fake to show how the outline looks like and if the position is alright. Then he started to outline... wahh lau.. so painful,...... I tot I was gonna cry but did not lar. then after about 30 mins of outlining, he started shading in the colours.... its not too bad, the pain is more tolerable...
Anyway, I tried to rotate the pics again. Still the same.. Sasak ku... Tired still.. so Will have to find the mood to update the template of my blog. :)

2007-05-08T17:58:00.001+08:00

hello

Blog under Construction!

2007-05-05T18:23:00.003+08:00

Hello there.

I am currently not in Brunei, will be back soon. My blog looks weirds cause i was on 'trial and error' phase. So hopefully when i get back it will look the way I want it to be.

Food!!

2007-05-01T20:08:00.000+08:00

Wen was here!! for a couple of days. And time really flies.. she is back already today. Just to post a picture of Char Kuey teow for someone in Canada. :)

Aku Bukan Pilihan Hatimu

2007-04-28T23:02:00.000+08:00

Jika memang diriku
bukan lah menjadi pilihan hatimu
mungkin sudah takdirnya
kau dan aku takkan mesti bersatu

harus slalu kau tau
kumencintamu disepanjang waktuku
harus slalu kau tau
semua abadi untuk slamanya

karena kuyakin cinta dalam hatiku
hanya milikmu sampai akhir hidupku
karena kuyakin disetiap hembus nafasku
hanya dirimu satu yang slalu kurindu

Happy Birthday Chee!

2007-04-28T17:53:00.000+08:00

Today is Lychee's birthday and we surprised her today with a birthday cake that Haiza_bunny bought for her at the office. She was embarrassed by us. haha... Anyway, hope that you are happy and may all your wishes come true. (at least one of ours is coming true) hehe. Unfortunately we did not manage to take the picture of the whole cake, just the picture of a slice of the cake as requested by KCS. We did not manage to go out for lunch as we have to work at noon for the students' presentation. But we did manage to eat after two... hehe kesian..By the way, the guy standing at the back is one of UBD lecturer, Dr.Salim.. He is a funny guy... hehe.
P/S Dunno why the photo is like this, sasak, dunnno how....rotate still like that..

Poor Bug

2007-04-27T00:22:00.000+08:00

Hello there,
Anyway first thing first, our dean finally gave the thumbs up to let us go further our studies.. hehe.. Chee was praying hard for both of us when she asked us to go to the office. We thought she was going to give us another long lecture again. But heyy... she told us we can go this year. Thank God.
And last night i terlanggar my bug... the ass kena bang. Well I banged it myself at the pillar of the UBD Chancellor Hall Basement parking. So if u go there, saw a pillar with chipped edge, That's the freaking pillar!! But luckily, eventhough there was a super loud bang and this caused me and Haiza( my Bunny Colleague) to scream, there was no dent on my bumper. But as illustrated by the picture, the paint came off quite a lot... Boo Hoo. Poor car, Poor Bug.. And I have to pay $180 for respraying... hope it better be good! I think I better get my eyesight checked.. what is wrong. But my baby bug is at the workshop for the night, Kesiann.. lonely...
Went to 20+ care group with Chee today, quite relaxed and enlightening, though I was a bit blur. Anyhoo, bit sleepy now. Went for a drive by myself just now. Oh yeah, KCS, Congrats u finish your exams.. relax lar. Wendy coming back... soon. This Saturday which is also Lychee's birthday!!!

P/s: Apple took the photo for me when she took the car to "hospital" Workshop.

Movie

2007-04-23T10:59:00.000+08:00

Went to swensen last night for dinner, had the lamb chop. It was..alright..lar. I think Charcoal is better and the portion is much bigger as well. More worth the $$. Anyhoos, although it was a Sunday night and both me n Gab are suppose to wake up early tomoro for work, we decided to catch a movie at 9+ after dinner. It was a choice between Wild Hogs or Sunshine. Seeing that Michelle Yeoh is in Sunshine, we decided to watch that..
And I regretted it... it was a sorta nonsense show.. and we sat through it, without dozing off amazingly. The editing was bad or brunei cinema edited it, I dunno...

World most expensive chocolate

2007-04-22T13:05:00.000+08:00

Did not post for the past two days, not sure why but then as usual probably hit by the lazy bug. hehe. Anyway, came across a magazine article talking about the world most expensive chocolate."a hand made chocolate with 70 percent Valrhona cocoa powder rolled over French Black truffle for a chocolaty $250.00 each or $2,600.00/pound". As stated in a Singapore magazine, the rate is S$4,010/pound. So who wanna pay for this piece of expensive (crap) i mean chocolate?

The ideal plate for $5.30, i think..don't remember. It was alrighty but then i think i wasn't that hungry. Been hard to think what to eat out for lunch recently, running out of places and food. haha. Any suggestions? Or I guess have to start to bring food from home... bento... :)

Rainy Day..

2007-04-19T18:41:00.000+08:00

Bought this two towels for $2.99. Veli cute and one is in the shape of a bear hmm... There are these $2.99 shops popping out and they are selling nice 'Japanese stuff'. The ones i know are at Rock Berletter translated to Malay means? This is taught by my colleague Haiza... haha, Haiza bunny. The other branch is at the Gadong properties. Went to one at Gadong Properties today at lunch, went to have Ideal. (KCS, don't drool...hehe) Have the quarter chicken and the cheesy fries, pardon that i forgot to take picture of the food haha...

Hey, the one in Kuching, here is your fav food, we had it yesterday. hehe I told mom that I'll show it to you. Sudah you come online to visit my blog?

Kena Tegur...

2007-04-18T15:20:00.000+08:00

Well, today is not going on that well so far. Woke up at the 'wrong' side of the bed, already in a foul mood. And lo and behold I was asked to go to the office with Ya Chee and we were interrogated about what we had done for the past few days (which was nothing much). I guess, everyone has heard of this line i am going to say "LIFE SUCKS". By the way, this is how my working table looks like, its pretty messy by the way. And if you look carefully on the left corner, is a pink furry pencil case belonging to my colleague, Ya Chee. But to be serious, we did manage to get some work done this afternoon, serious discussion... :)
Life is weird, there are all sorts of situations where you end up being in the middle and not sure what will be the best thing to do. What will be the perfect solution to make both side happy, and most important of all, also to make yourself happy? Just can't please everyone. oh ya, for the benefits of those not in Brunei, I will try to snap some pics of the food and make u all suffer. haha I am evil..if u miss any food, leave comments.

MY FIRST POST

2007-04-17T14:58:00.000+08:00

Ok, crap. This is first post and by me doing up a blog means that at this point of time, I do still have time at the office to do 'unofficial' things. But anyway, we'll hv to see how long this blog will last. N how many ppl actually will find out about this blog. :P
Hm..... at last some place where I can spend my (excessive) free time on and mind on. So I won't try to think of other weird stuff. Okie Dokie. Here goes..

*Yah Nee*

'Cliche' Poem

Random thoughts

Anti-ED group~

Depression Vs The pursuit of happiness..Over rated?

Time to be happy again?

Singapore Changi Airport T2

For the love of ....Cheesecake

Mamma Mia!!

Masakan Brunei

Froggy Chocolate!

Physiology Meeting at Cambridge

Coffee first timer

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Homemade White Milk Loaf

Brioche Baking in the middle of the night

Matcha cookies

National Doughnut Day!

Ice Bar

Cocktail Bun

Polo Bao

My belated birthday

Temptation of FREE ice cream

Race for Life

Exams soon

Banyak Makan!!

Snowing in April?!

Another new break!

Have a break!

New Gadget for me!

Old Songs

2008 Brunei Night in London

Diner

New Blogger

Early Spring In London

Old Songs

Cirque Du Soleil

Exhausted!

Great Voice

Japanese Curry

Low Calories! Low Fat! No Sugar!

Wasted For the Year 2008!

Rindu kereta ku

First Boxing Day Sale Experience!

Prague in December

Sick~~

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!

Enjoying our food!

To go or not to go?

Spotted in the newspapers

Got a place!

HOMELESS in LONDON!!

Riddles

We are going!!!!!!

Many First-TimeS!!!!

OBBD trip

Nice song

New Puppy!!

Cola n Sprite

Just A Random Thought, Please Vote..

Kampung Ayer Trip..

Paintball...in the rain!!

Love Hurts..

Ambuyat First Timer

Sad n Skint at the Moment!

Driving Range

Singapore..

Blog under Construction!

Food!!

Aku Bukan Pilihan Hatimu

Happy Birthday Chee!

Poor Bug

Movie

World most expensive chocolate

Rainy Day..

Kena Tegur...

MY FIRST POST

Yah Nee